If I Could Help One Person

I don't know about you, but I found AA to be so intimidating. Everyone so eloquently told their "story." I felt as if I was still living mine and was unable to put my experiences into words. Looking back, a lot of that had to do with shame and guilt.

After years of trying to balance a stressful career in corporate America and a toxic relationship, things had come to a breaking point. Everyone's rock bottom looks different. Mine came along with a DUI after partying with girlfriends one night. It was at this time I finally felt that I needed an out. I was drinking and using daily, and all I wanted to do was go to work, come home, and pass out. I wanted out of a toxic workplace and out of a toxic relationship.

I now look at my DUI as if it was a blessing that enacted massive change. After some research, I found a dual diagnosis clinic that helped people with mental health and substance use disorders. I officially got sober, May 6, 2019.

But just like most people, the sobriety didn't last. Little by little, the substances crept back into my life. I had been white-knuckling sobriety for two years, and it was exhausting. I've tried going completely sober. I've tried California sober. I've tried moderating. I've tried it all.

Where am I at today, you ask? Today I am starting to tell my story in my own words. I have 21 days alcohol free and feel better than ever. After a vacation in Hawaii that involved a lot of tequila pineapples, I felt that I had had enough — and here we are again. Back on the wagon.

This is such a cursory edit of the last six years of my journey. I want to remove stigma from recovery. I want to talk openly with other women experiencing similar experiences. I want to hear your story.

"If you can relate, drop a comment, and let's get this discussion rolling. I look forward to getting to know you, and I look forward to revealing who I truly am to all of you."